Mashed Potatoes

My Uncle Buck was in training at the US Coast Guard Academy.  He was invited for Christmas dinner by a fellow trainee whose family lived a few hours away by train.  Present at the dinner were the fellow's parents, brothers, sisters, and his Grandmother, the matriarch of the family. It was a very Christian family, very proper.  Things were going well, the young men were telling about their exploits in military training.  Then the poor fellow made a gaffe, hauling out the salty sailor talk in front of the family.  "Hey Bucky, pass the fuckin' mashed potatoes, will ya?"

Silence descended.  Everyone looked distinctly uncomfortable.  The fellow looked around in confusion, then realized what he said and turned beet red.  He got up from the table and left the room.  His mother followed, and Buck could clearly hear her in the other room encouraging him to come back to the table.  "I can't Mama!  I just can't!  I know I'm just gonna fuck up again!"

Eventually she persuaded him to return, and they took their seats.  The uncomfortable silence continued.  Finally the Grandma, demonstrating the leadership skill and class that Grandmas are known for around the world, turned to my uncle and said, "Well, Bucky are you just going to sit there, or are you going to pass him the fuckin' potatoes?"

Gotta love grandmas.